Well, please grant me a moments inulgence here.....on the 9th day of December, 1995, my wife and I were anxiously awaiting the birth of our first child, a girl, Victoria Amanda Miller......this was ater several years of frustrating and expensive fertility treatments, so we, of course, were overjoyed...the pregnancy had gone well. On that Saturday morning, it was as normal as could be, pouring down rain, but other than that...nothing special. We had a birthing class that morning, as we had on every Saturday morning. My favorite NFL team, the Minnesota Vikings, were taking on the Cleveland Browns that day, and, as we are in Ohio, many of the other expectant fathers in the class were Browns fans, and we did the normal back and forth trash-talking that guys that age are noted for. During the class my wife began "feeling funny".....the lady birthing instructor hinted that this may be our last class, that it looked to her that perhaps our little girl would be coming early.....we were at eight months and there had been no complications, so an early arrival of a month would be no big thing, especially. We left and went and picked up a Christmas tree. We took it home and set it up, we did not decorate it as I wished to watch the Vikings game. My wife Carla continued to say she felt strange, she went to lie down, and later in the day, we decided that we should call her OBGYN. He was away and we were referred to a replacement, who instructed us to go to the ER, just to be safe. Upon our arrival they hooked up the ultrasound machine to check on the baby. When they did, there was no heartbeat........
Our baby girl Victoria Amanda had become detatched from the placenta and was stillborn later that night. There is no way to explain to anyone who has not experienced this how painful this is, suffice to say that a bit of me died on that day as well....I look at that day, 16 years ago, as a "dividing line" between "then" and "now", nothing has been the same since......
Since that time, we have had a son, Grant, who is now 14 years old, and is the light of our lives. Had we not lost Victoria, we never would have had Grant, so, for reasons that I am unable to fathom, perhaps it DID all work out the way that it should have.....doesn't make it any less painful, however. I DO beleive that things happen for a reason, sometimes, we just aren't able to understand the reason.
On this day each year, I use several webites to say a "Happy Birthday" to my daughter Victoria Amanda Miller......someday your Mom, Dad, and Brother will be reunited with you. I wish it wasn't the way that it is, but there is nothing I can do about it. We all love you.Anyone who has read this far do me a favor and hug your kids, and understand how valuable they are and how fortunate we are to have them. I wish for all of you the most joyous of holiday seasons.
As this is the first December 9 of this blog, I opt to post the self-titled album by Temple of the Dog.....while it is nothing rare, nothing anyone could not get anywhere, I have always been reminded of my daughter by the song "Say Hello 2 Heaven"......for myself, it is Victoria's theme. To my daughter on this day, I once again dedicate "Say Hello 2 Heaven"........download if you like, comment if you wish, but mostly, hug your kids for me today......they are what is important.
God bless you all, and I'll be back in a day or three with some of my ususal more obscure postings, if this blog survives to future years of December 9's, I will always save that day for "Say Hello 2 Heaven" though (the album is quite good, also containing the very good "Hunger Strike")
Link in comments section
TEMPLE OF THE DOG 01 Say Hello to Heaven/02 Reach Down/03 Hunger Strike/04 Pushin Forward Back/05 Call Me a Dog/06 Times of Trouble/07 Wooden Jesus/08 Your Saviour/09 Four Walled World/10 All Night Thing